Plural Souls: A Theatre of Self-Consciousness

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Lights up on Spud. Myrna enters.

MYRNA: Hey, Spud. Whacha doing?

SPUD: Thinking.

MYRNA: Who says so?

SPUD: Huh?

MYRNA: There must be two people inside you. One thinking and one noticing thinking. 

(Counting on fingers.)

One. Two.

SPUD: OK. Well, I did notice myself thinking--

MYRNA: Now it's three. One thinking, one noticing, and one noticing noticing?

SPUD: Three me's? Gee, you're right, Myrna. I did notice myself noticing.

MYRNA: Now it's four.

SPUD: And if I agree with that, it's five! That's amazing! I can see us all now!

MYRNA: That makes six.

SPUD: Wow! A minute ago I could have sworn I was alone. Now it's downright crowded. You're right, Myrna. They're all here.

MYRNA: Seven now.

SPUD: I'll never be lonely again!

(He sighs happily.)

MYRNA: But I was just wondering, Spud--

SPUD: What?

MYRNA: Where are all these people? I just see one.

SPUD: That's easy, Myrna. They're in my brain.

MYRNA: I don't know, Spud--

SPUD: They're not physical people, Myrna. They're artifacts of thought processes. And my thoughts are in my brain. So these people are in my brain. Maybe that's why it's wrinkled.

MYRNA; Your brain is wrinkled?

SPUD: Of course, it is!

MYRNA: You've seen your brain?

SPUD: It's wrinkled.

MYRNA: I've never seen my brain.

SPUD: No, I have not seen my brain, Myrna! But I assume it's wrinkled. All brains are. Human brains anyway. So why shouldn't my brain be? Like everybody else's?

MYRNA: I don't know, Spud. You're kind of special. Maybe there's a tiny board room up there. Fluorescent lights. Faux mahogany paneling. A long conference table--

SPUD: And six little guys discussing policy?

MYRNA: Seven now. At least. Noticing each other. Making plans for arms and legs to move. Sending out for coffee. Maybe a parliamentarian. . . . It's just a theory--

SPUD: That's ridiculous! I've got a perfectly normal brain.

MYRNA: We'd have to saw open your head to be sure.

SPUD: Myrna, I don't even care.

MYRNA: Who noticed that?

SPUD: I think it was Three.

MYRNA: So does Three care?

SPUD: Four says . . . . No! Now you've got me up to Five again!

MYRNA: Six.

SPUD: I refuse to play this stupid game anymore!

MYRNA: Who refuses?

SPUD: Number One, Myrna. One, One, One! Number One refuses to play your stupid game and doesn't give a damn who notices it. Number One would like to be left alone.

MYRNA: Well! It's a little late for that, isn't it? 

(She exits.)

SPUD: (Hearing voices between sentences) Now, what was I thinking? I was not! Can't we just drop it? Thank you. OK, I'm trying to think. Shut up! Not you, her. I don't think so. Me, me over here. Can somebody open a window? OK, OK then, I make a motion to that--

BLACKOUT 


More theatre from Spud and Myrna:


https://youtu.be/gjwZkcK7BaM


https://youtu.be/VgOvXTlPKK8


https://youtu.be/VbWhIzYRu1s





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